Sometimes I find that I use my grief as a way to let me off the hook. When I'm beating myself up about not getting to the gym, having a bad attitude, being so tired or just feeling useless, I try to inject what I've come to refer to as "grief perspective."
It goes like this:
"Someday, Carolyn, you'll look back on this time and realize that the reason you were the way you were and did the things you did is that you were grieving."
Sometimes it helps and I stop the negative inner dialogue. Then, of course, I usually pour a glass of Bushmills. Sometimes it doesn't help though, and I figure that I'm just using it as an excuse.
That's when the self-talk gets really healthy.
Friday, October 10, 2008
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3 comments:
Being sad is perfectly normal for what you have gone through; you must feel what you feel; the first year is so difficult as you celebrate each first; christmas, birthdays. The grief changes over the years; it softens and you will learn to smile at his memory.
Be sad; cry, kick, scream but find your humor somewhere in the process
I have been fine for a while now but, this week has been tough. I don't know if it is all this political shit, that he would have been so discusted with, or what. I remember when he was diagnosed with lung cancer back in 04 and he said to me he hopes he lives long enough to see Bush voted out. We all know what happened then.. Our dad had such a incredible life and was such an incredible person. We all miss him and "grief sucks." I just am so thankful he never was introduced to Sarah Palin, that would have killed him for sure....
eye view,
Thanks for your comment. I'm surprised at how much it helps to have someone give me permission to be sad - rest assured that I seem to be managing that just fine these days.
And anonymous,
Why is it so hard right now? It's kicking my ass.
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